Changes in the Air

My Remicade infusion was yesterday.  And, I saw Dr. Vaidya while getting the infusion.  If this one doesn't "take" like the last one didn't, I will be switching to either Enbrel or Humira.   I have been researching Enbrel vs Humira. I think I lean towards Enbrel if I do have to switch. 


I don't want to switch if I don't have to.  I am afraid of running out of options eventually.  I am afraid of alot of where this disease will take me.  What ifs.....I can't keep working; I get an infection;  Rick gets tired of me in pain all the time.....  I had chest pain last night after getting the infusion.  Was it indigestion?  I didn't eat that much.  Or a reaction to the Remicade? 


Of course, I don't want to discuss this with many people.  Most just think I am being overly dramatic or just don't want to hear it. 


On a good note, I work 3 more days and then we are on vacation for a week.  Deciding if we are going to Presque Isle.  It will be fun if we do.  I'm ok if we don't.  

July 4th Weekend Coming Up

It's Friday and I am off on an FMLA day today.  The swelling is back in my hands and feet and they all hurt like crazy.  And I am tired.  I think I could sleep today away.  My infusion is Tuesday.  I wish I could get Dr Vaidya to sit for a few minutes and listen and give me some answers. Even if it is an "I don't know"....just so I feel like he has heard me!  If he says this is just the way the disease is, then it is what it is.  If there are changes or tweaks to my medications, then let's try it. 



On to the good stuff!  We get to keep Zac and Emily from Saturday night til Tuesday morning.  I miss them so much!  So, today, I am resting and hoping I have the energy I need for this 4th of July weekend!